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|\ ________ /| |# \ / #| We are the flow and we are the eb, | __ || __ | We are the needle and we are the thread, \_"" / \ ""_/ We are the spider and we are the web, \\| |// We are the witches, back from the dead! | ## | \_ /
__ \ | | ___| | | -_) | _| _` | |__| _ \ | / __| -_) ____/ \___\__|\__\__,_| __| \___/__|\___|\___| (The next are 4 Chinese words which mean HAPPY NEW YEAR) & & & & & & && & &&&& && && && & &&&&& &&&&&&&&&&& && & && && & &&&&&& && && && &&&&&&&&&&&& && &&&&&&&& && & && && && && && &&& && && && && & && && & & & && & &&&&& && && && && &&&&&&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&& &&&& & && && && && & && && && && && & && && && &&&&&&&&&&&& && && && && && && &&&&&&&&&& && &&&&&&& && && && && & && && & && & &&&& && && &&&&&&&&&&&&&&& && &&&& &&& && & &&&&&& && && && && && && && && && & && & && && && && && && && && && & && && && && && && &&& && & && && &&& & && && && && &&& & &&& & & & && && & & & &
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__\/__ . / ^ _ \ . |\| (o)(o) |/| #-.OOOo----oo----oOOO.-------# # # # # # # # # #____________Oooo.___________# .oooO ( ) ( ) ) / \ ( (_/ \_) Zitate, Witze in deutscher Sprache [Seitenanfang]
Gott sagte zwar etwas von wegen keine Sintflut mehr, aber von Windows hat ja keiner was gesagt!
Liegt der Bauer tot im Bett, war die Bäuerin zu fett.
Für unsere Lieblinge und Frauen mögen sie sich niemals treffen !
Einstein: E=m*a^2 ?, E=m*b^2 ?, E=m*c^2 ?, ....
Warten sie nicht auf das Jüngste Gericht: es findet alle Tage statt.
Die Bewohner der Erde heißen Autos. Ihre Sklaven haben zwei Beine und müssen fuer sie arbeiten und sie pflegen.
Falls Computer denken könnten, und sie würden immer noch umsonst für die Menschen arbeiten, dann könnten sie immer noch nicht denken!
Alles, was schöner ist als Mathematik, ist entweder ungesetzlich, unanständig oder macht dick !
Auf frischer Tat ertappt - Dunkelheit bei Einbruch verhaftet!
Nur ungern nimmt der Klingonenmann statt barer Muenze Tribbles an!
Ich wußte nicht, daß er tot ist; ich dachte, er sei Engländer. Zitate, Witze in englischer Sprache [Seitenanfang]
Reality is just an illusion, caused by lack of alcohol!
Speed up Evolution ... say yes to nuclear tests. (Where is my other head?)
I have a lot of friends, but Piglet is my very best.
You can make even a parrot into a learned economist; all it must learn are the two words 'supply' and 'demand.'
Note: Windows is NOT a virus, Viruses do something!
In sports, it's not who wins or loses; it's how drunk you get.
I hope I pass away quietly in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in horror like his passengers.
If two wrongs don't make a right, Try THREE!!
Computers can do everthing better than human --- especially doing mistakes.
Against stupidity, the Gods themselves, contend in vain.
If you design something even a fool could use, only a fool will use it.
The thing's hollow - it goes on for ever - and - oh my God - IT'S FULL OF PENTIUMS!
A statistician is someone who drowns in a creek whose average depth is three feet.
Do you remember the times when motorcycling was dangerous and sex was safe?
Please remain calm... I may be mad, but I am a professional.
A nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat! Know what I mean! NUDGE! NUDGE!
DOS ... is still a real mode only non-reentrant interrupt handler, and always will be.
To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to understand all things.
god is real, unless declared integer
Experience enables you to recognize a mistake, when you make it again.
The (Information) Superhighway? That sounds like a place that's long and boring and kills 50,000 people each year.
If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Killing for peace is like fucking for virginity
Sysops die at an early age ... murdered by their wives.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints... the sinners are much more fun.
"This fuckin' city, run by pigs. They take the rights away from all the kids."
Keep your country clean NO sex after marriage!
"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent"
'But what is with the great egyptian pyramids? They had no technology to move those heavy stones!' 'They had whips, big, massive whips!'
It's so simple to be wise. ... Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.
KEYBOARD : Instrument used to enter errors into computers
Disclaimer: Any errors in spelling, tact, or fact are transmission errors.
If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
Error message: Terse, baffling remark used by programmers to place blame on users for the program's shortcomings.
Maintenance-free: When it breaks, it can't be fixed...
Who needs gates in a world without fences?
He says,"There's more than one way to smell like a skunk." According to his mother, he has found most of the ways. |
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